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NYC [May. 25th, 2005|12:04 pm]
[Current Mood | optimistic]
[Current Music |the flaming lips - do you realize]

well i finally am in the city with chitti and I am having a super blast. I just love spending the time I have with her cause she truly makes my boring life meaningful. The weather is shitty right now in the city its rainy, cold and humid. This is an example of how depressin the city can be sometimes but you can still have fun in this shitty weather. I was bored yesterday cause chitti was studyin nonstop for this major test today so. But she did amazing she got an A im so happy for her. Other than doin stupid things in the city I am having fun and its worth it to stay even if the weather is bad cause im spending my precious time with someone I can't live without. She is such a dork but shes a very good sister at the same time. tats it for now im goin back to sleep.
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NORAH BABY!! [May. 3rd, 2005|09:11 pm]
[Current Mood |priceless]
[Current Music |the book of life - sting feat. anoushka shankar]

OMG Sunday was amazinG!!! I was dying as soon as I got into that metropolitan museum auditorium....I felt as though I was entering a whole new world. This was a concert for anoushka shankar the daughter of ravi shankar and the half-sister of norah jones. Anyway I get inside and there is this huge line and I was shocked, I was like "oh shit i will never get the front seats!". To my surprise no one took the second row so I sat there and reserved the two seats for my parents, who took forever to get there, they came 10 seconds before the concert started. It started as soon as they took their seats, anyway back to the greatness. Before they got there I went outside to see chitti and she's like her sister is here! - norah jones. I almost fainted cause that girl is georgeous and there are no words I can think of to explain her. So I see her and I don't have a pen for her to sign her autograph so I ask someone who works there. The guy gives it to me and as soon as I am about to get her autograph the guy's like "can i have my pen back please" and he justs takes it out of my hand, I was about to pounce on him but I cooled down when NJ was like "that was rude god, don't worry I'll be in the front get it from me later" I almost cried she was so beautiful. So the concert starts and I go nuts cause she is absolutely wonderful the way she handled the sitar, it was her father's talent that washed down to her. She was amazing throughout the whole concert. So the interval comes and I turn my head and I see richard gere. the guy is really old cause I saw wrinkles and everything. He seemed nice but arrogant but hey he's an actor so what can you do...So the interval comes and I go to her to get it signed and she signs it and just talks to me for a minute or two and I went nuts. It was awesome that she was so down to earth. I had an amazing night I saw her father who I respect to death. His sitar playing has inspired me tremendously and I am gonna learn it when I get to india and it's gonna be wonderful. So I finally am touched by the performance and that I met some of the greatest artists of all times. I had an amazing night and an amazing morning with my bf so everything worked out great.

buddi
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hit the ground way too hard [Apr. 24th, 2005|10:33 pm]
[Current Mood |LOST]
[Current Music |TBS - a decade under the influence]

what is it about me? Was I born wrong I mean what is it? I mean people always change around me, I become their friend and somehow everything changes. I know this kid jarret, he is awesome just the way he was, was get it....The past week seemed like a blur and it was all so sudden. He grew a gotti and he looked really hot in it and suddenly he gets checked out even more by people. I am like wow he's finally growing up--wrong! He just became more and more arrogant and egothestical not that that's wrong. He started ignoring me in front of others but when he is alone or away from the people with me he is different. It just bugs me that someone can change so much and not even care how it affects the people around them. He just became someone else so carelessly. I missed the old jarret, with his bird noises which he stopped!! He even changed his voicemail into like "hey this is jarret leave a message" when the fuck was this?!!? I just got fed up with people and I am gonna stop running after them to understand what is wrong or what I did. i am better off alone or just to stay far away from friends. I just felt so sad, today was just so empty from the residue of last week. It's not the same anymore and it's killin me. I guess things like this happen for a reason, maybe its a challenge or something that I have to face. I only think this way in denial I don't really believe it. But hey to people who this happened to I really understand now and I don't blame people for overreacting. I know the pain they went through.
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TIME!! [Apr. 23rd, 2005|10:57 pm]
[Current Mood |free]
[Current Music |a decade under the influence - TBS]

the time is running away from me... it goes by fast when i don't want it to and it goes by so slow when I want it to go fast. BUt it makes no difference because time can never speed up or slow down only a person can. This is my crisis everything is just nuts i can't concentrate on anything anymore. Too many people are being bastards and ignoring me (aka jarret and other bitches) these people are really buggin me but im handling it. I guess I won't or can't find one honest friend that i can trust to watch my back. THe only real best friend i have is my sister, she is sacrificing everything, most importantly her identity for me. I would have done the same thing and she knows that and that is the trust I need to find in people that are strangers to my face for the first time. It just doesn't seem to be working nothing does. One thing that had been working out for the past three days is my song writing its so good, and as the writer i don't have the right to say that but i feel its finally showing who i am. My fingers can't type anymore so ill continue this in my next entry. it will be more elaborate in the next one including names.
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nuts [Apr. 21st, 2005|10:34 pm]
[Current Mood |very hard to say]
[Current Music |avril lavigne]

As I am trying to write this very important update my dog is biting off my leg! so if I sound wierd or out of it its because of this type of distraction..anyway. I hate when these things happen to me....some days I just feel that I am not sure about what I want to do with my life. Today I just felt that I wasn't sure if I could even make it being in film, I don't think I am good enough, all of a sudden it just popped into my head. I felt useless like I was never gonna make it. I felt becoming a doctor is the only chance I have in my life. I am going to turn out to be like my mother. It's inevitable, I wish I could just try to avoid it but its gonna happen and I can't stop it. I write these screenplays and everything and I have this hope of one day making a beautiful film out of them. I feel like my hoping isn't good enough, like its just one big illusion. If it is one big illusion then why do i feel so much? Why is it I think about my boring future everyday. I am going to become a doctor, marry an indian guy and come back and start working. Is that what I really want to do with my life? Hell no!!! I want to be greater, not the right word, I want to be better and good at what I do. I feel its through my songs and my film ideas. I just am so much more creative to waste my artistry on medicine. There are many doctors in the world, but those who have love for the profession do a better job than those who don't. I am not going to be a great doctor if I don't have interest in the field. I want to play sports, save the poor, save the animals, marry someone who I choose to and not have my life planned out like it's carved in stone. I have one life and I want to make it worth while, I don't want to waste it on someone else's beliefs and perspectives. I seem to have no choice, I can never make my paretns agree to what I want to become I can only try to hope for the best of what is to come or to endure the pain of what is to come of me. I have no other way to go and I don't anybody behind me to support what I want to do with my life. well I don't want to write all this story in one day so let's prolong it a couple of days but for now goodnite to the dreamers and those who are living what they dream.


goodnite
Buddi
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TAKING BACK SUNDAY!!!!!!!!! [Apr. 20th, 2005|09:01 am]
[Current Mood | crazy]
[Current Music |BONUS MOsh pit 2]

               Alrite i was crazy to think i wasn't gonna go to this awesome concert!  IT WAS WRONG on many levels.  I made a decision to go and gave anthony a disappointment.  I call Diana asking her what time i should get there and she's like "be there lik 6:30 because there might be a line"...there might be a line it was ridiculously long!  I go there and shes like the line's moving get your ass here.  So after running a mile from that chemistry building i finally find her.  We are walking through the doors and there's this dumbass bald guy checking bags and he's like no cameras.  Diana ofcourse has her camera and the bald guy was like i saw you before or some shit, he was being a royal asshole so she just hides in my bag and we are off to see TBS!  We go in the stadium and it was unbelievable even though a new band was playing.  So we finally find a way to get to where the people were standing.  It was cool because we were being pushed around, it was becoming a mosh pit.  People fell in big circles it was like dominos!  So we were being pushed and everything and we bump into these two girls.  One of the girls was georgous.  Anyway we follow them and we move ourselves up to the near front as far as we can get and we are being pushes like crazy I couldn't breath but it was exciting.  Diana looked like she was going to kill someone.  When people pushed her she pushed them back like she was in war or something.  She looked scary but it was so funny shes punching people and elbowing them it was funny!  I was too crushed to even move so I didn't do much.  It was such a mosh pit we were gettin trampled on and punched, i actually got punched in the nose.  So the cute girl and her friend were still with us and we just kept at it while JIMMY EAT WORLD was rocking the stage.  THEy were so awesome!  SO we get a break for TBS to get on the stage so we move to the edge and the hot girl and her friend leave.  I was disappointed but we waited an hour before TBS came on.  When they did it was unbelievable.  I felt like I was being freed or something, it was such "i'm speechless".  We took so many pics and i got pics of the guitarists and adam's crotch which was wierd cause it was by accident.  The guy was twisting himself with the mike cord i thought he was going to choke or something.  So we get pushed more and we couldn't stand it so we left the pit and prolly drank every drop of water from the fountain and then went back and sat.  we watched the greatest concert even if it was in SB.  I loved it it was a turning point, as soon as I got home I started writing and it was so awesome! I wrote two full songs and now chitti betta read them and critique.  TBS RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I will never forget last night.

im gonna go n write more....

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boring [Feb. 24th, 2005|08:56 pm]
[Current Mood | crappy]

i was so bored in college today! I talked to this most beautiful girl and it was boring after that. im so dead rite now so ill update as soon as im awake.
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